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FLESH EATER

by Bradley Hathaway

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1.
"Be She In the Spirit" between her legs is a river where the sinners go to pray they speak in tongues they dip their hands to wash their sins away he goes to her in the black of night he goes to her in the day he goes to her like a little boy goes to his mother and hopes that everything is okay above her head a halo from the ceiling light’s glow she bites her lip she grabs his wrists and she rides him slow be she spirit be she flesh this man he doesn’t know forty days forty nights and such a long long way to go
2.
"He Is Behind Her" he is behind her his favorite place to be they are facing the same direction she is bent over they are on their knees you see he doesn't want to see her and she doesn't want to be seen they are both very well aware of the kind of game they are playing with every thrash and thrust every penetrating lust something dies inside of him some beauty some trust like David he wants to be a man after God's own heart but like David he is finding his whole world is falling apart so he gives it to her hard like an animal bites her back like a cannibal and with every thrash and thrust penetrating lust something dies inside of him some beauty some trust sweat all over their bodies now she's pressed against the wall her shoulders golden from the light in the hall where he is going very few dare to tread gouge out your eyeballs son let the dead bury their own dead with every thrash and thrust penetrating lust something dies inside of him some beauty some trust there's a place in North Dakota where his mind likes to go on a lake on a prairie surrounded by willows no one’s around just the spirit in the breeze no shame anywhere only joy and peace
3.
Haunted 05:27
"Haunted" she puts me in her mouth holds me in her hands I'm smoking a cigarette ash on her back here we go again there's something dying in this world it’s a long time coming since before I was born a tornado a hurricane a crouching angry panther bleeding in the corner it's hard to explain I’m haunted I’m haunted everywhere I go I’m haunted I’m haunted Son of Mary Son of Joe on a cross hang my sins on the body of a man innocent I see that cross that man my sin in the shape of her back in the curve of her hips I’m haunted I’m haunted everywhere I go I’m haunted I’m haunted Son of Mary Son of Joe she's on her knees but I ain't I'm off in the clouds I’m in the sky man I’m in outer space she wipes off her mouth stands to her feet looks me in the eyes but we don't speak He's standing in the corner He pours me a drink He looks me in the eye but we don't speak I’m haunted everywhere I go I’m haunted I’m haunted Son of Mary Son of Joe
4.
Naked 04:49
"Naked" I have seen you in the winter wearing your favorite coat I have seen you in the summer shade drinking a Coke I have seen you dancing to music that could not be heard I have you seen you with your binoculars scanning the skies for birds I have seen you up close I have seen you far from I have seen you reading Kerouac to cure your wanderlust I have seen you swearing seen you bow your head to pray I have seen you in so many extraordinarily ordinary ways and now I want to see you naked I have seen you in the movies with popcorn on your lap I have seen your tired eyes as you awaken from a nap I have seen you rising from a community swimming pool I have seen you tenderly taking off your mother’s favorite jewels and now I want to see you naked I want to see you naked as a deer in a field as a fish swimming in a bright blue stream untroubled and still I want to see you naked as a sky without a cloud as the sun and the moon and the stars above as a nun without a shroud I want to see you naked as the day you were born wrapped in nothing but the violent love which pushed you forward I want to see you naked as a novel with no pages I want to see you naked as a thousand empty cages I want to see you naked as a conception of thought I want to see you naked yeah I’d like that a lot I want to see you naked and I do not want to wait For the sun could explode and the Earth catch fire and then it’s too late I want to see you naked glorious unadorned unassuming unforgiving unashamed and pure
5.
Good Friday 03:12
"Good Friday" let me tell you a story there’s a moth on the window naked woman in his bed it's the anniversary of his savior's death like Lazarus in the tomb like the Messiah himself he’s wrapped inside the sheets just wishing he was someplace else ah but here she is willing but all he can think about is Him running around the underworld with a set of keys he said I don't know if you know what kind of man I am I think it’s probably best that you leave then she kisses his forehead wraps her legs around him then he’s walking on the water then he’s drowning in the sea he asks her do you know what day it is she replies Friday he asks do you know who Jesus is? she replies doesn't everybody he said no no no can we have this conversation? how do I explain it? I’m obsessed by Him He is definitely my fascination she says yeah yeah yeah no this isn’t the time for that in fact you need to learn to compartmentalize and not keep mixing all these whites and blacks so he lays her on her back and he gives it to her in every way she asks the end
6.
Nathanael 03:00
"Nathanael" she wets her fingers with her lips and puts them into mine I see heaven open up I see my father sigh there are birds outside but they do not sing they sit on the windowsill look inside watch and wait expectantly I push myself against her mango thighs I rub my cheek onto her collarbone and I cover up her eyes and I wonder Nathanael after your soul was laid bare before you died a martyr’s death and were caught up into the air did you ever think of giving up did you ever just not care yeah I don't love this woman but if I wanted to I could but she would see my heart and know that I'm no good we finish making love and I hold her in my arms any tenderness or affections I had for her have come and gone for this reason a man shall leave home I fall asleep naked and alone
7.
Goddamn 03:44
"Goddamn" I ran my fingers through your hair like all the others before but I could no affections no I want something more I traced your tattoos with my fingertips like I heard once in a song but I could feel no impression I think something's wrong oh that I could see you as they do a treasure box full of gifts but all I see from you are the things that I can get there is no love between us what kind of man have I become if you could see the thoughts in my brain baby you would run if the devil is a lion and Jesus is a lamb why can’t they lay together after the trumpet sounds is there really a lake of fire where the bad people go and the worms eat out their brains and their skin just stays aglow Goddamn all the wrongs I've done in my whole life Goddamn all the things I've tried to do that did not come out right forgive me in the morning for what I will do tonight forgive me somewhere down the line just please before I die
8.
He Fucked 04:41
"He Fucked" he fucked a lot of women and for that he’s ashamed but when he fucked all those women he was whispering one name Jesus Jesus Jesus save me from myself Jesus Jesus Jesus I love you and no one else he saw their fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters hanging on the wall he licked their sweat he pulled their hair watched their breasts rise and fall Jesus Jesus Jesus save me from myself Jesus Jesus Jesus I love you and no one else he fucked them when he was sober he fucked them when he was drunk he fucked them when they wanted gentle he fucked them when they wanted rough he fucked them in the evening he fucked them in the day he fucked them Kama Sutra fucked them every single way he took them to the moon and back he melted them like lava he was lover he was daddy they were nothing they were momma they were broken and fleeting forever repeating they were weird they were home they were warm they were cold they were acceptance rejection rainbows reflections lightning river frightening mystical maniacal hysterical palpable be still be still no no no no yes Jesus Jesus Jesus save me from myself Jesus Jesus Jesus I love you and no one else he thought of the one that got away he thought of the ones that stayed he thought of a man in a robe in a big old river who looked up to the sky and prayed Jesus Jesus Jesus save us from ourselves Jesus Jesus Jesus we love you and no one else he thought about the way it was he thought about the way it is he thought about their hearts and thought about his
9.
Penelope 03:29
"Penelope" I passed that spot where we made love once out on the creek where you took off your blouse and walked around and asked if anyone could see my body is older but my memories are staying young and all these women since but you’re still the one there’s a valley in a field where I like to go sometimes I like to watch the sun the birds and smell the coming night if you were here I’d tell you all the things I never did before I’d tell you all the things that I was sorry for I’d tell you all of that and more and so it goes so it goes some cling to familiar and find comfort in what they know others go off into the distance and get lost in the things they don’t there’s a goodness in this world but there’s a badness in me try hard as I might I like to feel the heat but the Lord is on His throne and the incense is burning now and the creatures are singing Holy Holy Holy and the kings lay down their crowns there’s truth and there’s lie and all the things in between that have me running standing still and trapped inside a dream and so it goes so it goes

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released April 14, 2017

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Bradley Hathaway Arkansas

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